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If You Are Miserable At Work It Could be Your Own Fault

Posted by Insightlink on 03/09/15

How You Can Make Work A Better Place

The way you think about yourself could be the most important reason why you are so unhappy at work. This may sound
a bit ‘self-helpy’ but your attitude says an awful lot about you and how you view life. And as we know, like attracts like, so chances are extremely high that if you have a negative attitude towards yourself, you will attract other people who feel the same way. So if you find you are unhappy at work, that you are always taken for granted, used, misused, or even abused by your manager or a fellow employee, it is time to do a self check. Chances are you might be drawing this kind of response from others because you attract negativity. And at the end of the day, if you have the wrong attitude, work will never be great because you won’t let it be. In a nutshell, if you value and honour yourself, believe that you are strong, successful, kind, loyal, and honest then those are the kind of people you will attract. Look at who your work friends are - it will tell you what you need to know.

In a recent article by Sophia Nelson, she explores five things to do to attract positive people in your life and how to combat the negative ones.

  1. You teach people how to treat you with how you treat you. Period. If you don't have healthy boundaries, if you don't rest, if you don't take care of yourself, people pick up on this and they will take advantage of you. You have to let people know that you honor yourself and that if they come in your space causing lots of rancor or seek to drain you, you will "cut" them off quickly.
  2. . Understand your life CODE. What matters to you? Loyalty, integrity, reciprocity. Whatever it is, find it in other people. Attract like-minded people who share your code. If you fool around with people who do not value what you value, I promise you your life will be hell trying to work with, befriend or love them.
  3. How do you resolve conflict. This is critical -- you must surround yourself with people again who have a similar code. I like to TALK things out. I think it is essential to talk before you walk. No matter how uncomfortable, or challenging, at some point mature adults have to talk about their differences and seek to resolve them peaceably in ways that make us better, wiser people. I detest (and I mean detest) people who do wrong things and cannot own their mistakes, apologize and grow up. I do not suffer people lightly who cause drama, then exit out, leaving others to clean up their mess or to have others left holding the emotional baggage of the wounds they have caused. Find out how people resolve conflicts before you get attached to them or in business dealings with them.
  4. Surround yourself with people who speak your "love language". This is huge. I have members of my family and some friends who just do not get me. period. I am a gift giver, card writing, letter writing, expressive person. And I will give the gift of my time, network, and access pretty freely. I, likewise, value those things being poured back into me. I don't do well in love, or friendship with people who are not similarly expressive with their feelings or love. I need to hear it, see it, feel it. The relationships I have that thrive make me feel secure, valued and they speak my language. It is reflex for my inner circle to support me, and love me because again, they are like me.
  5. How important is your faith in how you treat others. Another huge thing that I value is my faith. I am a devout Christian. Do I have some issues? You bet I do. I can be short-tempered. I can have a potty mouth that I am working on, but beyond that I am pretty easy going, very kindhearted, I give to a fault, and it is my love of God that drives the woman I try to be every day. I live transparently and authentically. My faith is my life CODE. It matters how we treat people, and how we allow them to treat us. If you are a Christian, if your faith and its core commandments are how you run your life, you need to be with people of a like mind and character. I value honesty and integrity. If someone lies to me or deceives me that is a deal-breaker. That is character. That is not who I am. 

In the final analysis, we teach people what we will tolerate from them. 

In terms of employee engagement, when we bring our best selves to work, our work lives will be improved. We will expect more from ourselves and our employers and be more motivated to make positive change instead of putting up with issues and letting our work suffer.


Original article provided here:


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